Category Archives: epic fail

Curiouser and curiouser…

August 10, 2009

So, I chat with lots of folks online, and generally speaking, we email back and forth for about a week… and then they google me. I know that’s what happens, because we’re having this lovely conversation, getting on swimmingly, and then suddenly they Just. Stop. Talking. To. Me. Without fail!

Seriously. It’s not when we reach a specific topic or anything. I swear, it’s just that they finally get around to typing my name in a search window. Is there really something that horritastic, funnifying, terroriffic about me?

I never make much of a secret about anything, so I suppose it must just be the cumulative effect of everything in concert? Nobody’s truly prepared for an intelligent, scotch-swilling, candy-noshing, geek-licking, dead guy-loving artist.

Even in LA. Go figure.

LIKE A HURRICANE. I WILL ROCK YOU.
…or something. I dunno. Frak. QQ

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If it’s not chained down, it’s free? WTF.

July 28, 2009

Outside our door, we have a bench, a flowerpot, and a large standing ashtray. People do occasionally use our ashtray, and we are totally cool with that, because that’s what it’s for.

Tonight though, someone decided to move our bench out into the parking garage, and then attempted to use our ashtray to prop open the door leading to the garage. Once they’d finished their little social or whatever, they just left things where they were.

Now, they essentially only moved our bench about ten feet, but that really does not change the fact that they took our bench without our permission, and didn’t even bother to return it.

Isn’t this sort of thing covered on the first day of kindergarten?

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Dear Steampunk Clothier,

July 28, 2009

When I asked if you made a certain pleather item in real leather, I expected to receive a simple yes or no answer, perhaps a suggestion for another material. Instead, you said, “We do not use animal products or participate in environmentally hazardous practices.”

Well, I really hope that you can back that up. Modern life is ‘environmentally hazardous’ by its very nature, and if you’re going to insult me for thinking leather is an acceptable clothing material, then I expect you to put your money where your mouth is.

Are you using 100% solar power in your offices and workshops? (It’s unlikely, as you’re based in a major city.) Are all your laborers paid a living wage? (Judging by your prices, I would say no.) Has the manufacturing process for your vegan alternatives been proven to be environmentally neutral? (I seriously doubt it, as that’s why I’ve never been keen on pleather.) Also, how do you intend to get my product from your warehouse to my doorstep? (Oh, right. You ship UPS. Oops.)

See, I was going to give you money. I may still have to, as you seem to be the only people producing the item I want for $20 instead of $200, but now, well, I’m not going to be happy about it.

Also, your response about how you were only stating store policy? Well, might want to revise your store policy to something that reflects reality, eh?

No love,
Sparrow

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#EAfail! for real

July 28, 2009

So, I am generally a fan of EA games, or at least, of the games that EA produces… After spending all weekend at SDCC being smacked in the face by their “marketing” efforts at every turn, well, I am a bit less fond of them.

Really I thought the guy with the bullhorn repeating the same “free blood spatter, free tee shirts, come play Dragon Age, come get your free blood spatter…” script again and again and again, and occasionally throwing little Dragon Age packets with inflatable swords at passer by was bad enough, but no, it got worse.

They also plastered every car within six blocks with window clings. It probably didn’t do any real harm, but I would’ve been mad as a hornet if it were my car.

This is in addition to the scads of “models” they had on the streets handing out fliers. Sure, models are a well-established con-nomenon by now, but seriously, I do not need to be offered the same flier by half a dozen girls. If I didn’t want it the first time, I’m not going to change my mind.

…and now I hear about the major #EAfail! with Dante’s Inferno. I pretty much avoid the gaming corner at con, because it’s loud and filled with super-gamers, but I was rather naively looking forward to Dante’s Inferno.

From all the trailers it looked pretty cool graphics-wise, even if they got half the mythology wrong. I’m always up for something new, but if the marketing is that idiotic and sensationalist, well. There probably isn’t much to the game.

Oh well. So much for THAT.

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The things you learn on the internet…

July 16, 2009

Currently faux-aging copper with hydrochloric acid, which is most readily available as hydrogen chloride in toilet bowl cleaner…  It’s simple, just douse your copper in solution and go find something else to do for a while.  It takes 12-24 hours, and so far it looks to be working, but my question is; WHY IS PROFESSIONAL GRADE LYSOL TOILET BOWL CLEANER PEPPERMINT-SCENTED?

Really.  I want to know.  This stuff will KILL YOU if you eat it, it’s pretty vicious even just getting it on your skin, and yet here it is, a lovely blueish goo that smells like peppermint.  Who the hell thought that was a good idea?

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At least I’m not the only one…

July 13, 2009

Gawker says it’s “everything that’s wrong with the internet” in one ad campaign, and I so totally agree. What really bothers me about the Evony ads is not that they exist, or that they’re ridiculous, but that they’re absolutely everywhere, and they’re really inappropriate. I assumed Evony was basically a fantasy lite-RP sex game, but apparently it’s strategy? Who knew.

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You bastard, you’ve summoned the FAIL!Whale!!

July 7, 2009

The Twouble with Twitters is absolutely brilliant. On that note, I have joined Twitter, find me @sparrowmorgan. I’m following Neil Gaiman and Stephen Fry, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, and all my followers are from fandom. FML.

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